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blog, Health and Beauty, Mental health, Uncategorized

Day 6

Day 6,

While I may sometimes be the skinniest in the room, or I may be the fattest. I may sometimes be loud one. I may be the tallest who loves to wear heels. I sometimes am the awkward one. I may be a lot of things but at least I’m me. And I may be depressed and have ptsd but at least I’m me. I’m imperfect , kinda lazy, and I love myself. I love being me and I don’t think many people can say that. I’m alone and single but fuck I love myself and love who I am most of the days. I’m imperfect and fucked up. I’ve been the crazy ex girlfriend and the great friends with benefits.  I’m apologetically me.   I love my tummy and my nose. My wonderful ability to just not give a fuck sometimes and the fact that I don’t try to be something I’m not, I get the tattoos I want, I wear what I want, and I sometimes look like shit but fuck it happens and I while I still may look like shit,  I don’t care.

I love the few that read this,

XOXO

<3Paige

Uncategorized

Day 11,

Today I went to work, got my hair cut, cried because I hate my haircut, slept with chef, and then cried because I saw my haircut again/ slept with chef. 

Work: Today I arrived at work, parked, walked in realized I had to get through Monday only to be told I’m training someone. Why in gods name would they have me train someone? I’ve only worked there for 4 weeks maybe 3 weeks. To top it off she has a higher position than me. She thankfully left at 3:30 and I was actually able to do work. 

Haircut: To start this off me not thinking thought the place I got my haircut had moved locations and my hairstylist left. So this is kinda my fault. Then I arrive and realize I’m at the wrong spot, wrong spot as I just didn’t book my hair appointment where I thought I had. So my stylist starts cutting my hair and goes around once. Then goes to measure it, when they pull each side of the hair around your face, and she fucked it. Then she starts cutting more and more off. I should have left then and there. I had mermaid long hair and asked for it to be cleaned up. I now have barley touching my shoulders school teacher hair. It’s hideous. 

Chef: Chef came home from his cabin today and I hadnt seen him in about a week. We have been texting everyday. He calls me babe, says that he likes me, I feel like I’m getting played. “We” are using each other for sex and I need to stop it. 

Currently: I’m eating ramen, crying, and wondering if Trisha Paytas and Jason Nash will get together. 

❤ Paige

Health and Beauty

Day 10

I’ve been taking medication to get rid of my bv and have the worst headaches in the world. As someone that rarely gets headaches unless I’m hungover but those are hangovers and not headaches. My brain feels like it’s lightly tapping against my skull over and over again. My vision is slightly skewed and dizzy. That said it’s only a side effect and will be over in 5 days when my pills are done. Looking at this screen is nauseating so I’m going to stop and listen to a movie.

Update: 

It’s now 10 and I have to take another pill. I have to take a pill that will get rid of my bv but I’m miserable, I can barley move. 

❤ Paige 

blog, Health and Beauty, List, Uncategorized

Day 7,

Five years from now I want my life to be drastically different, and it will be without even trying. What I mean by that is, right now my life is going one way and I don’t want it to continue in the same direction.  I want more out of life than a nine to five job. I want to be doing something I love and am passionate about even if it doesn’t pay the bills and I still have to work my nine to five.  Recently I heard someone say that they sat down and wrote something they wanted out of life on a piece of paper, every fifteen seconds they wrote down another want, or dream, just something. They did this for fifteen minutes, so now that I’m sober for the week I decided to do it too. Here is my list.

  1. to travel
  2. be in shape
  3. have some savings
  4. be in a relationship
  5. go to the Big Sur
  6. go to Joshua Tree
  7. have a job that allows me to travel
  8. not sit at a desk for 5 days a week for 8 hours a day
  9. go to Thailand
  10. go to Vietnam
  11. if I have a house have bees
  12. have a garden or at least plants
  13. go for a month long trip
  14. go sailing
  15. convert a van into a house
  16. if that I want to travel the US
  17. drink fantastic beers from everywhere
  18. drink wonderful cocktails
  19. eat amazing vegan food
  20. stay true to my values
  21. not eat meat
  22. be happy
  23. be with someone that I can be unapologetically myself with
  24. date more
  25. climb outside
  26. learn to boulder
  27. fill a notebook/journal
  28. quit working a “nine to five”
  29. write more
  30. follow my passions
  31. make those passions my job or at least pursue them
  32. add solar power to my life
  33. reduce my footprint
  34. date someone for them and love them for them
  35. be me
  36. don’t apologize
  37. pay off student loans
  38. pay off car
  39. do things by myself
  40. fo for my wants and not others
  41. et my beetle tattoo
  42. after beetle tattoo don’t go back to kyla for another tattoo
  43. read more
  44. finish the beer bible
  45. finish the wine bible
  46. start a beer blog/ instagram
  47. let loose
  48. stop caring about what others think
  49. Its okay not to want the “american dream”
  50. it’s also okay to want it
  51. get a pet
  52. be nice to my body
  53. eat when I’m hungry
  54. finally become tidy
  55. travel
  56. go on an epic road trip
  57. take a look outside
  58. go see the northern lights
  59. do that stupid youtube channel
  60. if you go after something it will eventually something will pay off

Not all of them are wants but more thoughts. These are things I want to do in the next five years. I’m going to make another tab and on this blog like thing I have and add the list that way, we can cross them off together.

Love you all

❤ Paige

 

Ps. Photos of the process